Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
