Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
