He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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