One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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