Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
