is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
