just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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