I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
