Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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