he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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