no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
vagina is talking i cant
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
