Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
