as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
