Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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