I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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