Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
