So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
