I heard we made out
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
