I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
