She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
