i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You ruined the universe
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
