She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I got inside last night via doggy door
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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