He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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