I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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