he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
