I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
