Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
