Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
