So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
