Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
