just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
