Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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