If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
