Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
