he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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