Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
