question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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