My hand turned me down
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
porn star boner night. come get it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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