I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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