I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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