My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
