I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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