it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i love accidental penises.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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