Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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