If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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