I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
