can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i barfeds in our rink
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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