Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize