i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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