If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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