Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
