Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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