she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
