just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
