I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
