No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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