Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
