Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize