I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
