is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
