He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
